Snow White

Good evening,

As I am writing this it is 2:16 am on a friday night, and I have had a few drinks.
My night started out expecting to go to Moonrise Kingdom, a movie I had been quite excited to go see since its trailer has been shown with incredible frequency in all the movies I've gone to see lately. The downside of this movie was its showtime, it was showing at 19:20 pm, which for me meant I had to rush dinner, which resulted in me eating a bowl of cereal.

I showed up at the theater on time, but due to a 52 hour roller coaster ride of sleep deprivation my friends did not manage to achieve the same result. So, instead of going to see Moonrise Kingdom, we went out and had the before mentioned drinks. Me and my friend were however still longing for our cinema fix, we were craving a friday night movie and darn it, we would have one!
So, we decided to go see Snow White and the Huntsman which was showing at 23:00pm at a local theater. A movie I had not been as excited about, but expected it to be at least somewhat worth watching. The magnitude of me claiming a Kristen Stewart movie to be "worth watching" is greater than you might realize.

For I may have not mentioned this before but within me there is a righteous fury that burns with incredible hatred for a girl called Kristen Stewart and a man called Nicolas Cage (I know I'm not alone on the second one). My hatred for Kristen started when I watched the first twilight movie and I started to realize that she had a very specific way of looking whenever she wanted to appear longing or in love.
She would slightly close her eyes and open her mouth, and if she really wanted to drive her point home, she would lightly bite her lower lip.
At that moment I had a startling realization. I had seen this look before. I knew this look from a movie that is one of my favorites and that bear some fond memories. The movie I am speaking of is Into the Wild, and upon realizing that this look is some generic acting trick, I can never look at a major part of Into the Wild with the same loving eyes.
And for this injustice, I hate Kristen Stewart with a righteous fury.

So, ignoring this hatred for the sake of cinematic history, I went to see Snow White and the Huntsman, which turned out to be a pre-theatrical release. Close to sold out even, luckily me and my friend had free entrance and just strolled in. The movie kind of disappointed me.


Where I think they went terribly wrong is their general decision making. A great majority of the film feels like some world that reminds me of Lord of the Rings, and if they had went all the way with it I think they could've made a great fantasy re-imagining of Snow White.
But they didn't, from time to time they would pay some small, let's call them... homages. To the original Disney Snow White, and they would break out of their fantasy feeling and throw in some very unfitting cheesy moments. This took the movie for me from a point of "this could be great" down to just "worth watching". In my opinion, they should've either gone for a realistic remake of the Disney Snow White, or they should've gone for a fantasy re-imagining, either way they could've made it into a great movie. But turning this movie into a blend of two contradicting ways of portraying a story doomed this movie from the start.
Ah well, at least Kristen Stewart didn't show us her generic lovey-dovey-look-at-me-I'm-in-love-look.
Believe it or not, but this mediocre film actually improved my view of Kristen as an actress, almost as much as seeing her boobies in On the Road did.

Live long and prosper,
Teun